Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
