I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
