We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
