i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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