omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize