His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
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Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
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Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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