Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
