How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
