I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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