so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
