So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
