Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
