do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
being pregnant is like rehab
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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