I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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