whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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