So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
