never play flip cup with pint glasses
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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