i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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