maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
