You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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