mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Randomize
