we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
