I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
