I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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