I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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