so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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