Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
