remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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