I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
