that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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