maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
