Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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