it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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