I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
