Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize