So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
