just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
