I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
