i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
