2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
