This girl is more easily done than said...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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