what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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