I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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