Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
