Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
