I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
