i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
