I'm really into asian looking animals
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
