...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
