Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
