my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
