Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
