I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
