I bet he comes in French.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
