i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize