some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
