Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
