Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
