i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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