Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
