There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
