I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
