I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
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I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
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I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.