I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?