im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
