you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
