I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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