I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You're a waste of cheezeits
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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