but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
