What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
