would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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