my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
