Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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